Setting The Scene For Success In Nj Divorce

The traditional adversarial system continues to drawperiodically during litigation.
criticism when aggressively applied to family lawHowever, the real change necessary to simplify and
cases. Apart from the inefficiencies, impracticalities andcreate an atmosphere of less confrontation shall result
costs of such approaches, the reasons for abandoningfrom the individual professionals taking appropriate
these poorly conceived methods of dispute resolutionaction - the Judge, the attorneys, the other expert
should be obvious:professionals, such as mental health professionals and
1. Combative fires tend to be fanned and magnifiedfinancial professionals, called upon to assist one party,
with each contested Court proceeding, therebythe other, or both parties.
creating the potential for long-term conflict;Each professional person coming into contact with the
2. Negative emotions and feelings of the parties areparties in the family law "system" has a significant
allowed to significantly impact the attorneys' actions onopportunity to "assist" the party/client/patient, rather
behalf of their clients;than to "advocate." The goal of the family law
3. The potential for professional ill-will betweenprofessional should not be to represent his or her
attorneys and professional experts is created, whileclient's interests blindly, but to be mindful of the client's
heightening the potential for gross animosity betweenbest interests in light of the entire family's long-term
attorneys and opposing parties.interest, both financial and emotional. If children are
The litigation process influences the attorney to takeinvolved, their interests must be paramount. If there are
every available advantage for the client, put the client'sfinancial issues, they must be approached with a
case in the best possible light, not offer evidence thatsense of objectivity and fairness to both sides.
is harmful to the client (with some exceptions), andMost parties arrive in the family law "system" via the
challenge everything possible, in the opponent's case.divorce attorney. Some persons will have contact with
The opposing attorney has the same job.a mental health professional or clerical member. Others
Most attorneys in the adversarial process are sowill have discussions with their accountant, family
caught up with the client's "cause," that the attorneyphysician or other trusted family friends. Yet, it is the
can lose sight of any and all sense of objectivity, whichattorney who most often has the first real opportunity
is required to analyze both sides of an issue. Manyto change the way the system operates.
attorneys are all too willing to believe the "emotional"The first contact between the attorney and client is
version of the client's facts, and not inclined tocritical and will probably set the parameters of the
scrutinize the information for false or misleading claims.relationship between the attorney and client throughout
The contested dissolution of marriage case is a familythe entire case. The attorney can easily take sides
disaster waiting to happen. As difficult and bad aswith the client, support the client in every way, and
things seem to be during the litigation of a family lawbegin planning a strategic attack on the other side at
case, the real battle, the real conflicts, are yet to bethis beginning point. Or, the attorney can sit back and
realized. After the Final Judgment is entered wherebylisten to the client (listening is, of course, an excellent
a Judge determines contested issues, if there are onecommunication technique). At some point, however, the
or more minor children or any ongoing financial supportattorney must ask some questions, explore the facts
matters or any other issues over which the Court hasnot being volunteered by the client, and inform the client
retained jurisdiction, an odyssey of struggle and conflictof reasonable expectations notwithstanding the client's
will surely ensue for as long as the Court hasfeelings, wishes and concerns.
jurisdiction over the parties and subject matters.A problem-solving approach would include:
What can be done to avoid this "never-ending" conflict1) Assessing whether the client, in fact, needs an
resulting from litigating family law issues? Probablyattorney at this point. Is the marriage really over? Is it
nothing immediately, but over a period of time, changesrealistic to consider saving the marriage?
can occur which will result in most of these kinds of2) Counseling that children are not to be "used" as
issues not being litigated. However, change is slow inpawns. Their best interests must be considered, which
the traditional legal arena where attorneys are trainednormally means regular, frequent contact with both
and experienced in relying upon precedent and stareparents.
decisis.3) Encouraging or discouraging communication
Significant changes in process are required; however,between the parties, depending upon the relationship
the professionals practicing in the adversary systemand feelings of the parties toward each other.
may be resistant to change and unwilling to consider4) Avoiding any action that will result in antagonizing
different and creative means in representing a familythe other side or in engendering distrust. Typically, an
law client. Also, such creative and innovative changesattorney's letter articulating his or her client's grievance
in process may appear to be either unethical or inor position may result in additional ill-will and additional
violation of the attorney's duties to fully represent thedisagreement between the parties. Consider picking up
client, thereby further delaying change.the telephone and talking with the opposing lawyer first
As time progresses, changes must occur in theregarding sensitive and potentially confrontational
"system" which will result in a process which is moreissues.
practical, simplified, less financially expensive, less5) Treating the other side with courtesy. Try to
time-consuming and less confrontational. Moreover,overlook actions that will appear to be, or are, in fact,
changes are occurring whereby legal procedural rulesuncooperative or insulting. Instead of responding in a like
in many states now require alternate dispute resolutionfashion, the attorney should start to attempt
at various stages of litigation, as well as requiredcooperation. Avoid emotional reactions and deal with
financial disclosure and supplemental disclosuresthe factual issues logically.